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Date:10/30/2009 Time: 11:03:20 AM      

 

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.  Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.  God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.  The woman says, 'So, you're a man.  That's interesting.  I'm a woman.  Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!  But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle.  My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.  Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man.  The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No.  I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.  
Don't mess with them.


Date:11/17/2009 Time: 06:03:29 PM      

 Why men should not write advice columns.

 
Dear John
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter!  I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
 
 
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.  If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps
John


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